I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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