Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
