problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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