3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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