i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
