i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize