dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
