I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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