I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
