you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
