so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
