did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
