So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
