Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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