I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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