I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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