we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
