There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
