Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
should my penis look like a turkey
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
