His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
