I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
