It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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