real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
