Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
