i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
