i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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