it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
