okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
