And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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