What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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