Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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