Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
