dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
