It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
