I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
