sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
