Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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