I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Im part way to drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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