Where did you get a picture of my penis
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
