I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
