I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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