I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
