There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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