I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
