i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
