addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
