they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
