best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
