only if we run a train.
done.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
