You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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