I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
