Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Sober January is a disaster.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
