so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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