He uses pillows to masturbate.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
