Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
