This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
