my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
