This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
