i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
