I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
