What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
