There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize