I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Randomize
