i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
