if only i could text you this smell
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Found your dick twin last night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My penis needs a shock collar
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
